The past month or so of my life has been crazy, stressful, and heartbreaking. Honestly, the entire past 6 months have been hard on me with one challenge after another and often many at the same time. But the biggest changes came only recently. I wasn’t expecting them. I didn’t want them. I fought so hard to hold onto what I was losing. I believed then and still believe now that this wasn’t a good thing that happened and I do wish it wouldn’t have.
BUT. Some amazing and wonderful lessons were taught to me and I have found a peace and joy I’ve never felt before. I am stronger now and I can truly be thankful to God for letting me break so I would finally turn myself over to him for healing.
I’m still struggling. I’m still sad. I haven’t finished grieving just yet and I’m not sure when I will. But I’m looking forward, not backward, and I truly believe good things await me even if I don’t know what they are yet.
I’m gonna let you in on a secret: if you’re a girl, Karena and Katrina at Tone It Up are simply brilliant. If you’re a guy, I’m sure you can enjoy them too, but they specifically focus on women’s health and fitness using a fun girlfriend-to-girlfriend approach that makes me feel like I have two great workout partners no matter the weather or how little I feel like getting it done.
I’ve known about them for a year or two, but I started really following along with the fitness challenges and workout routines at the beginning of the year. The current challenge is their Love Your Body challenge combined with 100 miles of cardio by V-Day (or 150 if you want to push yourself further). They post weekly workout schedules, complete with “PM Challenges” to treat yourself and enhance your daily life. They also have monthly calendars with tips and thoughts to help you get your mind to start thinking the way the lifestyle demands.
Continue reading “Love Your Body”
I’ve been doing well enough to write for a week or so, at this point…I’ve been meaning to do so, but I haven’t been sure what to say. Sometimes, the best writing comes after letting thoughts simmer and stew for a while. At least, I can hope that’s the case.
I always struggled with the concept of “letting go,” especially in practice. It sounded really nice, being able to let a load drop free of my shoulders and move forward with a smile on my face. But whenever I was faced with something difficult, something I couldn’t change that I nonetheless hated, I clung to all the negative feelings with a death grip I couldn’t figure out how to break. Over and over I’d run the same thoughts through my mind, the “whys” and “hows” and “it’s not real, right?” I’d examine the situation from every angle, desperately searching for a way to fix it, to change the outcome, no matter how pointless it was. I would KNOW I was doing something that would make my life harder, but I couldn’t stop.
I’m still that way, for the most part, and I don’t know the “secret” to letting go. But when it came to being dumped by Josh, the breakup led to a breakthrough.
Continue reading “On My Struggle to “Let Go””