I’m going to share my goals for this year in a series of posts (I also post them on Instagram). The most important thing to me is becoming a better person and improving myself this year, and specific resolutions are a must to guide my path.
My first goal is to develop more and stronger friendships this year. It’s been so easy for me to let things slide and ignore my friends until I need them (whether for something tangible or simply because I’m in need of a shoulder to lean on), and the people I once considered my closest friends are hardly friends at all anymore.
What I’ve learned is that we’re all happier when we have solid friendships in our lives. They help us create good memories, feel connected in this big world, and lend us strength to weather storms. People are actually so amazing when you get to know them, and they enrich your life to an incredible degree if you let them. So I want to give more meaning to my life and let more people in, to learn what they have to teach me. And I want to learn to serve others, to think of them first, to be an active force for good in their lives.
One book I’ve read on the topic of friendship and people skills (and will be reading over and over again every year) is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It’s a fantastic book with solid, timeless principles that are pretty commonsense, yet shockingly lacking in the average person’s life.
It was a bit of a tough read for me at first, because I struggle with every single thing the book addresses. In some cases I grumbled about how I didn’t want to stop complaining, or how it was too much work to remember everyone’s name. I then realized I had to work first on the desire to change before I could even get started on the actual principles.
The biggest thing I’ve taken away from only having read it once is that the key to great people skills is to stop thinking so much of myself. It’s not about me, it’s about them. For example, if I spend most of my time thinking of things only I would care about, doesn’t it make perfect sense that everyone else is doing the same? Which means that asking someone to talk about himself is a great way to make him feel like he matters to you, instead of feeling unimportant as you natter on about yourself.
So my focus this year is to force my thoughts away from “me, me, me” as much as possible and center them on what I can do for others instead.
I’m going to ask more questions, listen more, and smile as often as possible. I’m going to say hello to strangers and start conversations with people I see around town but don’t know. By the end of the year, I want to know that more people than not were better off for talking to me. And I want to know a lot more names than I do right now. It’s time to take an active interest in the world and the people around us. Let’s make this year a huge step forward, friends. ♥
Q: What’s your best memory from 2014?